You think back to December 15, 1969.  You had just gotten your van.  Life was good.  And your best friend Merv was getting married.

    It was Merv's third wedding, but the first one you'd ever even been invited to.  You were a little bit jealous that Buddy from Christy's was picked to be the best man, but you and Merv weren't as tight back then as you guys are now -- you understood.

    It was a great ceremony.  A lot of Merv's associates from his days in the porn indusrty were there to wish him well.  And most of your family was there, too: Nannie and Poppy, Lucia and Bob, Paula and Danny, Stephen and BOOG, Uncle Bud and Bunny - even Pam was there, and she hates Merv.

    It was one of only two times you'd ever been in a church, and the pews were a little uncomfortable, so you took off your pants to use as a seat-cushion.

    Everybody was all dressed up (even Sandy looked pretty attractive in her bridal gown), and on best behavior.  BOOG didn't kick your ass, and Stephen even joked around with you a bit.  In fact, at one point you laughed so hard you farted, which wouldn't have been so bad except that it had come right as Merv was saying "I do".  The priest had to repeat the question, but other than that, things went smoothly.

    The reception was held outdoors at the Ames Estate park.  There was a kickin' band featuring one of the original members of the Electric Earwax.  There was cake and booze, and dancing, and everything was cool until around 1am when Uncle Bud got drunk and morphed into a penis.  Paula found him in the punchbowl and horked.

    A lot of the gals from the porn industry were pretty hot, but they ignored you completely.  You tried hitting on Pam for awhile, but she kicked you in the sack pretty hard.  Fortunately Danny had brought the kerosene.

    All in all, a pretty good time.
 


    Head up to Pam's room.  Try to score.

    Head over to Sandy's.  Try to score.

    Call Merv on the telephone.  Shoot the breeze.