BRAD: the game

This is you. 
You're Brad. 
You reside in the basement of your dad's house. 
Your ambitions are: to cruise around in your van, hang out in the basement, score with Katie, and maybe get another cameo appearance on Webster. 

Merv is your best friend since back in the 60s. 

He was a small-time porn actor before "the accident". 

He used to be married to your girlfriend, Sandy. 

Pam is your sister.
She is the mother of your niece, Sarah -- and by tragic consequence, your only son, Sammy.
Pam makes no attempt to disguise her dislike for you and your friends.
Buddy from Christy's 
Clerk at the local 24-hour convenience shop, and close friend to you and Merv. 

He's a good dancer... 

Likes to party... 

And unlike you and Merv, actually scores with women on occasion (besides Sandy).

Your dream girl. 
Katie is your niece Sarah's best friend. 
Your and Merv's ultimate amibtion is to wed this young woman... as soon as she comes of age. 
How old is Katie now? 
13?  14?  15? 
She is currently dating Ross.
Your current girlfriend. 

She used to be married to Merv. 

Highly-skilled at Connect Four.

Milton & Eva 
The little Greek twins whose family runs the nearby Sharon House of Pizza. 
Milton is loud and obnoxious and likes to be around you. 
Eva is the business partner of Becky, and speaks little or no English.
Pam's daughter, and your niece. 
She's in high school. 
Her boyfriend Toomey is constantly at the house. 
She's your connection to Katie. 
Her other friends include: Noam, "Dabe", Chris Byrne, Myer, and Amanda.
It's your dad.
His name is Brad, too.
 But people call him "Poppy".
Like all of your five other siblings (except Lucia), you live in his two-story house in Sharon, MA. 
He mostly ignores you unless you get in the way of the television. 
Your brother, and identical twin of Stephen. 

Dating a semi-famous jazz-harpist. 

Immensly strong, and often ill-tempered. 

Possessor of a gigantic handlebar mustache. 

Try to stay on his good side.

More studious, and mellow than his brother. 
The two of them no longer get along -- at all.
Uncle Bud 
Addison "Bud" Powell is Poppy's brother. 

He was seen on TV throughout the late 70s and early 80s as the Gorton Fisherman in ads for Gorton fishsticks. 

Also had a spotty TV/movie acting career.  (see IMDb) 

Has the secret power to morph his body into any shape, and can regenerate himself even after death. 

Wants nothing more than the destruction of your side of the Powell family so that all of Powell Camp on Lake Champlain in Vermont can be his alone.

Your sister Paula's son. 
Ghandi is a behemoth and could kick your ass with ease, so watch your step. 
Generally easy-going and mellow guy, though.
(artist rendition)
Your only son. 

(At least, your only verifiable son.) 

The result of a licentious incestuous parentage, he wears a brown paper bag over his head out of shame, and hasn't been seen since he ran away in 1993.

Your uptight sister. 
Mother of Ghandi and Becky.
Close friend of both Sarah and Katie. 

Wild, untamed, and oft times spastic. 

Hangs around Poppy's house a lot. 

Although no Katie, you wouldn't kick her out of bed. 

Her secret desire is Danny.

Daughter of your sister Paula. 
Co-owner of a Fries & Fro's franchise with Eva. 
Business-minded, and not easily impressed.
Father of Ghandi and Becky. 

Originally from Barbados, he now drives a cab in Boston. 

Known for his healing "kerosene rubdowns".

Friend of Sarah.
Claims to be your son through Sandy. 
Has no proof.
Anna's older brother, and Katie's boyfriend. 

He is the fastest runner in New England.

Your older sister. 
Mother of Brendan and Sean. 
First of your siblings to move out of Poppy's house, and only one that hasn't moved back in. 
She lives one town away.
Your ex-wife. 

After being boyfriend-girlfriend for nearly six years in the late 80s and early 90s, the two of you decided to get married. 

A few months after that, Joyce moved to Seattle and now lives with another woman.

BOOG's girlfriend -- or is it Stephen? 
She is a semi-famous jazz-harpist who can be found at Poppy's house on rare occasions.
Friend of Deborah from England. 

He's got a wooden leg. 

He waits in the boathouse at midnight on the first of every month in hopes of a secret rendezvous with Katie.

Bad-ass cat that can invariably be found sitting on the banister at the top of the front stairs at Poppy's house. 
So desperate for attention, now that there are five other cats in the house, she swipes at people as they pass. 
Originally belonged to Lucia's family.
Your mother. 

A strong-willed woman with a big heart, but a short temper. 

She passed away in '94.

Brendan & Sean 
Your nephews from Norwood. 
The two sons of your sister Lucia.
Boyfriend of Sarah. 

Reformed metal-head. 

Has a wild mane of hair, and plays drums.

Sarah's father. 
Ex-pot dealer and Harvard graduate.
Wes & Cas 
Katie's younger brothers, ages 8 and 6.
Your hero. 
Although not as popular with mainstream America as he was back in the day, your admiration for this man and his body of work continues to grow. 
The closest you have ever come to hitting the big-time yourself was your cameo appearance on an episode of Webster, and you are forever grateful to him. 
Webster is now a black-belt in kung-fu.