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Brad
This is you.
You're Brad.
You reside in the basement of your dad's
house.
Your ambitions are: to cruise around in
your van, hang out in the basement, score with Katie, and maybe get another
cameo appearance on Webster.
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Merv
Merv is your best friend since back in the 60s. He was a small-time porn actor before "the accident". He used to be married to your girlfriend, Sandy. |
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Pam
Pam is your sister.
She is the mother of your niece, Sarah --
and by tragic consequence, your only son, Sammy.
Pam makes no attempt to disguise her dislike
for you and your friends.
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Buddy from Christy's
Clerk at the local 24-hour convenience shop, and close friend to you and Merv. He's a good dancer... Likes to party... And unlike you and Merv, actually scores with women on occasion (besides Sandy). |
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Katie
Your dream girl.
Katie is your niece Sarah's best friend.
Your and Merv's ultimate amibtion is to
wed this young woman... as soon as she comes of age.
How old is Katie now?
13? 14? 15?
She is currently dating Ross.
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Sandy
Your current girlfriend. She used to be married to Merv. Highly-skilled at Connect Four. |
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Milton & Eva
The little Greek twins whose family runs
the nearby Sharon House of Pizza.
Milton is loud and obnoxious and likes to
be around you.
Eva is the business partner of Becky, and
speaks little or no English.
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Sarah
Pam's daughter, and your niece. She's in high school. Her boyfriend Toomey is constantly at the house. She's your connection to Katie. Her other friends include: Noam, "Dabe", Chris Byrne, Myer, and Amanda. |
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Poppy
It's your dad.
His name is Brad, too.
But people call him "Poppy".
Like all of your five other siblings (except
Lucia), you live in his two-story house in Sharon, MA.
He mostly ignores you unless you get in
the way of the television.
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BOOG
Your brother, and identical twin of Stephen. Dating a semi-famous jazz-harpist. Immensly strong, and often ill-tempered. Possessor of a gigantic handlebar mustache. Try to stay on his good side. |
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Stephen
More studious, and mellow than his brother.
The two of them no longer get along -- at
all.
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Uncle Bud
Addison "Bud" Powell is Poppy's brother. He was seen on TV throughout the late 70s and early 80s as the Gorton Fisherman in ads for Gorton fishsticks. Also had a spotty TV/movie acting career. (see IMDb) Has the secret power to morph his body into any shape, and can regenerate himself even after death. Wants nothing more than the destruction of your side of the Powell family so that all of Powell Camp on Lake Champlain in Vermont can be his alone. |
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Ghandi
Your sister Paula's son.
Ghandi is a behemoth and could kick your
ass with ease, so watch your step.
Generally easy-going and mellow guy, though.
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Sammy
Your only son. (At least, your only verifiable son.) The result of a licentious incestuous parentage, he wears a brown paper bag over his head out of shame, and hasn't been seen since he ran away in 1993. |
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Paula
Your uptight sister.
Mother of Ghandi and Becky.
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Anna
Close friend of both Sarah and Katie. Wild, untamed, and oft times spastic. Hangs around Poppy's house a lot. Although no Katie, you wouldn't kick her out of bed. Her secret desire is Danny. |
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Becky
Daughter of your sister Paula.
Co-owner of a Fries & Fro's franchise
with Eva.
Business-minded, and not easily impressed.
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Danny
Father of Ghandi and Becky. Originally from Barbados, he now drives a cab in Boston. Known for his healing "kerosene rubdowns". |
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Noam
Friend of Sarah.
Claims to be your son through Sandy.
Has no proof.
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Ross
Anna's older brother, and Katie's boyfriend. He is the fastest runner in New England. |
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Lucia
Your older sister.
Mother of Brendan and Sean.
First of your siblings to move out of Poppy's
house, and only one that hasn't moved back in.
She lives one town away.
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Joyce
Your ex-wife. After being boyfriend-girlfriend for nearly six years in the late 80s and early 90s, the two of you decided to get married. A few months after that, Joyce moved to Seattle and now lives with another woman. |
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Deborah
BOOG's girlfriend -- or is it Stephen?
She is a semi-famous jazz-harpist who can
be found at Poppy's house on rare occasions.
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Shven
Friend of Deborah from England. He's got a wooden leg. He waits in the boathouse at midnight on the first of every month in hopes of a secret rendezvous with Katie. |
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Junior
Bad-ass cat that can invariably be found
sitting on the banister at the top of the front stairs at Poppy's house.
So desperate for attention, now that there
are five other cats in the house, she swipes at people as they pass.
Originally belonged to Lucia's family.
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Nannie
Your mother. A strong-willed woman with a big heart, but a short temper. She passed away in '94. |
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Brendan & Sean
Your nephews from Norwood.
The two sons of your sister Lucia.
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Toomey
Boyfriend of Sarah. Reformed metal-head. Has a wild mane of hair, and plays drums. |
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Mark
Sarah's father.
Ex-pot dealer and Harvard graduate.
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Wes & Cas
Katie's younger brothers, ages 8 and 6. |
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Webster
Your hero.
Although not as popular with mainstream
America as he was back in the day, your admiration for this man and his
body of work continues to grow.
The closest you have ever come to hitting
the big-time yourself was your cameo appearance on an episode of Webster,
and you are forever grateful to him.
Webster is now a black-belt in kung-fu.
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